This might sound super edgy, but I think I hate most or every single person regardless of the good or bad things they did to me (this only applies to people I have interacted though since people I haven’t interacted with doesn’t really feel like real people to me).
Since this is very irrational and purely based of emotions, I can obviously just suppress my hatred and behave generously and politely. My desire for maximizing pleasurable experiences is also far greater than my hatred towards each single person. But whenever I’m alone, I feel like that’s when my hatred towards everyone is at its peak in terms of how noticeable it is (meaning that it’s much less difficult to ignore).
I don’t think I’m a misanthropist because I don’t really hate humans as a whole, but more of each one of them individually. Also since we live in a modern and civilized society, I act with respect to logic and moral norms and standards. Therefore, avoiding irrational emotions as much as possible (like this one).
Whenever I talk to someone, my head already enumerates every single thing I hate about them and updates it whenever I learn something new about them. Some of them are even unhinged thoughts that are very harmful if I verbalize them but I just avoid it as much as possible.
I want to avoid this way of thinking but mannnn… My brain has so much things it dislikes about everything and everyone. It’s so picky.
The hateful thoughts are also not limited to vitriolic opinions, but also harmful actions that I constantly avoid doing. It’s like there’s three parts of my brain: The one greedy for stimulation and pleasure, the logical one, the really insecure and really angry one.